23. Practising to show up

The first step in speaking your truth is just showing up. And that - when dealing with swirling thoughts in your head - can be a whole challenge of its own.

I’ve lost count of the number of times that I’ve had something really important to say, but have failed to ensure it was heard in the way I meant. I’ve been under more pressure than I could bear in all those situations - whether arguing with my spouse, trying to get the children (not) to do something, or wanting to tell my boss that he was wrong.

And I’ve had situations where my voice has been heard, where I’ve been promoted as a result of being the only person prepared to speak up, yay me.

So what’s the difference?

It starts with how I show up. If - especially under pressure - I can pay some attention to my posture, my breathing and relax a bit more, then I am automatically more present - less caught up by the thoughts and emotions, and more physically aware of the situation. That puts me in an ideal place for vocalising my truth, and makes it easier for people to hear me as I intend.

I’ve also come a cropper when the words have tumbled out of my mouth onto the floor in front of me, or I’ve got tongue-tied. I suspect that I start tripping myself up when my head wants to say one thing and my heart or belly wants to say something else. With conflict buried deep inside me, it’s no surprise that the message stumbles on the way out.

Speaking your truth comprises two steps: being centred and aligned, and bringing all your different opinions together.

Any skill worth its weight requires practice, and speaking out is no exception - especially because the head is so much better at speaking (and editing) than the other two centres.

If you try speaking out from your head, it’s likely to sound fluent and logical. Your heart seems to speak a different language, which you struggle to hear - the head often tries to edit the words on the way out. Your belly may be determined, impatient, and seem to grunt a response.

One way to practise is to speak your truth out three times to the bathroom mirror every day, once per centre. Listen out for changes of emphasis, your voice settling, different language appearing, and embrace it all - all of these offer information to you.

You may know very well what truth you want to express, but don’t know how to get it heard; or you may not be so sure of the message. Either way, every day for the next week, try talking to yourself in the bathroom. And notice what you notice.